Sleep is like the best thing ever, which makes it the exact opposite of a job or school – you know, those things that force you to get up in the morning. Leaving a blissful dream to join the rat race is a tough transition for most of us – but for heavy sleepers, it’s like fighting World War III every morning. When sleep grips you so tight that an earthquake only has a 50/50 chance of getting you out of bed, a normal alarm clock just won’t do. You need something very loud, very obnoxious, and possibly even very stupid. Here are my picks for the best alarm clocks for heavy sleepers.
1. Sonic Boom SBH400ss Sweetheart Loud Plus Vibrating Alarm Clock
This alarm clock not only sounds loud, but looks it too. The cutesy heart design will make you fall in love with this clock… until the first time you get jolted out of bed by its booming alarm. If that’s not enough to wake you, you can also use the included bed shaker to rattle you out of bed. As if that weren’t enough, it also features pulsating lights.
2. Sonic Alert SBT425ss Digital Sonic Boom Loud Vibrating Alarm Clock with Telephone Signaler
If the girly design of the first clock turns you off, here’s a more conservative version (complete with bed shaker). As a bonus, it can also be set to go off when your phone rings, so you don’t sleep through any important calls. Overall, this is a great clock for the elderly or hearing impaired. No joke.
3. Screaming Meanie 110 Alarm Timer
This alarm clock means business. It doesn’t even tell you the time. It only has one mission: to shock you awake with an annoying piercing tone. This just might be the loudest alarm clock ever. Unfortunately, while its single-mindedness is appreciated, some people might not like the fact that it lacks a time display or a lot of convenience features.
4. TIMEX T156BX Shake ‘n Wake Alarm Clock
When it’s time to wake up, this alarm clock vibrates and exhorts you to get out of bed using a randomly selected “wacky” voice. Each voice has a different accent – Italian mobster, redneck, Mexican, and more along those lines. If that sounds like your type of humor, this clock could make you wake up laughing every day. Alternatively, if you’re offended by ethnic stereotypes, outrage could motivate you to clear the cobwebs and turn off this politically incorrect alarm.
5. Clocky Alarm Clock On Wheels
Here’s another alarm clock that seems cute until it starts doing its thing. At first, Clocky will try to wake you up with some random beeping. But if you hit snooze, it’s time for Clocky to get serious. He jumps off your nightstand and starts whizzing around the room and making noise like a cross between R2D2 and a deranged Zhu Zhu Pet – forcing you to literaly get out of bed to turn the alarm off.
These alarm clocks for heavy sleepers can all be found online. Buy one of these clocks for your own lazy ass, or as a gift for someone who needs help getting out of bed in the morning.